Growing up, I was a only child. I was a latch-key kid. I was born a 3lb preemie-newborn. Which meant I was ambitious…
As a kid, I always knew that I wanted to be financially free, I always knew that I wanted to make my own money, and not be one of those people who got told what to do, and when to do it.
No one likes being told what to do.
I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to do, just as long as it made money. I didn’t know why I needed money, I just knew that It made you somebody important.
At first, at least as far back as I can remember someone asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I can remember saying that I wanted to be a Doctor, because when your a small child professions such as being at Dr. or a cop, or a fireman, always seem to be the go-to professions for some reason, and that’s what I thought was a good choice.
I didn’t know anything about doctors, but for some reason I knew they made good money, and that’s what I wanted for myself, so that I would be important.
That continued as I got older, as I always had this sense of ambition, although the thoughts of desiring to be a doctor faded, I still wanted to be important, rather I wanted to be a boss of some thing. I wanted to be someone who made his own rules, someone who directed his own businesses.
That’s businesses, meaning being independent from an employer, not businesses as in the suit in tie type. I would assume you knew that, but I could also assume you didn’t.
Well, lucky for me I had talent, or talents, as I- being a kid who had little to no interest in school learnin’, was an avid doodler in class, meaning I had a knack for drawing.
So naturally, wanting to be a business leader, my ambitions naturally gravitated towards making money through art. The bad part is that I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do with it.
Of course there were the obvious viable options: video game art design, comic- or manga for myself, art, an animation career in anime, just regular-old selling of art, I didn’t know what exactly I just knew that.
Unfortunately, that-alone doesn’t get you anywhere. To make it somewhere, you actually need to have a prime focus to concentrate on. Of course, since I never really found myself compelled to do one thing, I stuck with the premise of being able to do any of those things- along with whatever else might pop up. The main issue here is obviously that, I never focused my efforts.
Long story short, I never did anything with my art, or creative interest in doodling.
It wasn’t because I got frustrated, or maybe a little, it was because of the fact that I simply could never place my finger on what one thing I was going to set my focus on.
What exaggerated this was the added issue that I just really didn’t enjoy drawing on those times I was outside of the classroom.
Now you could of course denote this as being related to the fact that I was unfocused, but overall I just simply didn’t want to draw all the time, it was just the main thing I knew how to do.
And in being that main thing I knew how to do, it was the only thing I ever thought to put my ambitions to. It was just soddy-luck that I never thought outside of that realm of possibilities for about twenty-one years,this number I say assuming I began drawing as a young-snot nosed punk. It was like that up until the point I decided to pick up an old interest in writing, and started this blog. To which i’m passionately looking to improve, and build everyday.
Or, my passions for being a portrait photographer, but I like the term Artographer more. (I’m still working on that one.)
But what I’m getting at here is that because I had grown up with this great spirit of ambition, but no real focus, I ended up wasting a lot of time trying to make myself do something I really wasn’t interested in.
Deep down inside I knew I really never felt like drawing, or had any true passion in it, I just didn’t know what else to do. In my mind, there was something I had to associate with my ambitions, because If I didn’t, there was surely no way-in-hell I would ever simply subjugate myself to a life of simply being a supervisor at Wal-Mart, or anything like that.
That was just never my thing, and I knew it then, just as I know it now.
But the issue remained, until I gained interest in photography, which was actually way before the writing, and realized what it meant to actually be passionate about something. It was different, from drawing because I could see a clear future in it which I could vividly enjoy.
I was never passionate about the act of drawing in general, although I had a keen interest in art. It was simply the only thing I saw as being the route of acquiring riches. I wasn’t passionate about it, and for that reason I never spent much time practicing without getting bored.
It can also be frustrating at that point, when you’re unable to create what you want, because of your lack of skill, which is only because you get bored so quickly and never practice.
Because I became bored quickly, I rarely picked up the pencil and pad, and instead played video games in my spare alone time. In fact, I spent an entire six months after a tour in Iraq playing video games with the time I should have been practicing. There are times now I wish I could go back to kick myself in the face, and tell myself to do some freaking work. But I’m sure we all have times like that from our past.
It might seem like a long rant, but the point I’m getting to is this: if you have ambition, but no focus, if you only have premise, but no passion- you’ll never make it an inch forward in life.
Now let me tell you, I’m far from where I would like to be, but I’m on the right path, and a lot farther mentally from where I used to be in my early twenties. Sure we all piss-away our years of youth in many ways, but if you’re anything like me, you can’t help but to hold a very high standard for yourself and where you think you should, or could have been.
It’s also true, that stuff happens in life, and there are many types of distractions, but when you never have a true focus to begin with, that doesn’t factor in much of a difference.
It’s generally known that in this life if you want to get somewhere, then you’ll have to put in the work building a sound mind, and a strong- but smart, work ethic and make it there on your own. Nobody is going to pry you off the couch, carry you to a big paycheck, and put you on a first class flight. That generally doesn’t happen.
If you’re going to go about realizing your ambitions, you have to have a clear focus on what you’re actually passionate about, and the difference between that and what you’re thinking you simply should be doing.
To put it simply, if you really have a passion for the great outdoors, hiking, fishing, wanting to own a sports goods rental shack, but you’ve think you should rather be pursuing a career in law. But instead of falling asleep studying books on the effective strategies of defending a client, you spend most of your time watching the travel channel simply because that’s where your true interests lie- then you’re simply wasting time by forcing yourself down a path you have no interest in pursuing. You’re going against your natural grain- so to speak.
Either way, because your not actually interested in what you think you should be doing, you dilly-dally away most of your time procrastinating because that disinterest is causing you to lack motivation.
Heavy stuff, I know, but this is the issue.
We all need to remember that unless we follow our true passions, we will only be leading ourselves down a path of procrastination, laziness, and eventual unaccomplishment. Sure, people make it doing performing practical careers, however, imagine the amount of prosperity which could be obtained once you do what you truly love.
If you believe you are interested in doing something, however it brings you no good feelings while you’re doing it, and makes your bored- feeling as though it’s just something you have to do for the moment until you can get home and actually do something you really want to like watch Netflix, then that means you’re probably not really that into it.
In order to have the drive to chase a goal over obstacles, through peaks valleys, and harsh weather- you have to actually bare a desire of wanting to obtain it first. If not, you’ll never make it a couple steps before complaining about how your feet are cramping, and how humid the weather is before stopping and convincing yourself you’ll do it tomorrow.
Right.. Today is yesterday’s tomorrow, and you’ve put your particular task off so many times you can’t even remember where you left off… admit it.
In conclusion, we as people in society all have somewhere we rather be instead of where we are, we all have those dream situations that we wish we could leave those daily slave grinds for.. we just need to make a point to figure out what we think will actually get us there, and be sure that we are actually passionate about them before we decide to attempt to commit ourselves to them.
Sure, at times it take a couple of times before we actually figure out those things are, so some soul searching might be in order. However, we can’t find what that is if we only spend minimal time putting in that work, and the majority of our time channel surfing.
Bottom line: if you want to realize your dream situation in life, whatever it is, it’s most important to spend your time doing what you find that you love, and not what you think is the best thing to do. Because sometimes what you think you actually require in life, you could actually do without. And what you find that you might enjoy more, might actually be equally-or even more fulfilling, but you’ll never find out what that is if you’re too busy putting it off to watch TV.
So get off your ass, and find your path to your inner light.
I’m doing it, and so can you.